I'm not one to speak ill of the dead, and after I heard this story I did consider whether my impulse to mock it was in bad taste. I'm sorry to report my Evil Wicked Side won out.<!--more-->
In English dialects, a stupid face is a gurn and gurning is the practice of making said faces. There are contests devoted to this Satanic malformation of the countenance.
Peter Jackman, pictured here, was a four-time champion gurner from Cumbria who apparently had his teeth removed in 2000 so he could look even crazier, and who was most notable for an innovative stupidface called the Bela Lugosi.
I totally did try to find a photo of him performing it, but the first page of my Google Images search turned my stomach and I couldn't bring myself to continue the search. Bad Alex. Bad blogger.
The crux of the story is that Mr Jackman was killed in a tragic accident in Spain. This honestly isn't anything to giggle about as I'm sure he was a nice chap -- but for the fact that he died when a fucking cliff face collapsed under him.
I don't know about you, but I think know an act of God when I see one. And to be fair, how would you feel? If you'd spent twenty billion years nurturing a universe in which a carbohydrate-rich planet could emerge and support the evolution of an ingenious and ambitious species with (generally) handsome features -- and then to see those bastards take pains to mangle their mugs as ridiculously as possible?
Me? I'd be ouraged, and my wrath would be swift.
MySpace users, take note. You may think that those photographs you take hide your fat jowls and make you look desirable, but really, you're just painting a big bullseye on your ass and daring the Almight to end you.
You've been warned.
There's only one way to respond to that.
ReplyDeleteAwww! The sad irony is that he's far handsomer than most of the MySpace crowd! :)
ReplyDeleteI thought the same thing, for for reasons that should be obvious, I guess.
ReplyDelete