Always a Bridesmaid

"I have it all worked out in my head."

This is where the divide between Not Writers and Writers is thinnest: Story Ideas.

Creativity, at its core, is a misnomer. We don't actually create anything new, because we're not capable of inventing anything we don't already comprehend: we can't conceive of something we can't conceive of. The actual definition of creativity, as we use it day to day, has more to do with synthesis. Scientists and artists alike innovate by making connections that others haven't thought of, and practice brilliance by figuring out how those connections really work.<!--more-->

A story idea is just that; you bundle up a bunch of stuff you already know (types of people, events, technology, politics, dramatic constructs) and realize that particular bundle feels really, really juicy. If you're into sci-fi, maybe you've conceived of a perspective on FTL- or time-tavel nobody else has done before. If you're into melodrama, maybe you've hit on a particularly poignant emotional crisis and if you're a mystery writer, maybe you've put together an especially stupefying murder plot.

That's what gets our 'creative' juices flowing. We feel the vibrations coming off this bundle of concepts, we marvel at the gleam of the interconnecting lattice, the whole thing thrums with potential and it's a thrill to refine and crystallize that rough rock into the jewel we know is in there.

For the Not Writer, that's all too often where the process ends.

Endless cycles of thought and imagination, talking about it to one's Inner Circle, but nothing goes to paper. And it's easy to unerstand why; you feel an obligation to produce a product that's worthy of the potential you know the idea has. You want it to be as good as it can be, so you don't want to write it any less than that.

Which of course means that you spend all your time Not Writing it.

The sad reality is that most of these bundles of inspiration are quite hollow, once you try to pick them apart. Like the many other disappointments of a grown-up's life, nobody enjoys confronting this when it happens to them, but the Not Writer shies away from that confrontation by staying within the comfort zone of the Idea Phase. The less you put to paper, the better it looks in your mind's eye.

The Writer knows the pain of this confrontation, but bears it stoically, and keeps his tears at bay. He knows that it may be hard, but it brings rewards, and he maintains a positive attitude toward the disappointment. Recognizing the flaws and inadequacies of the idea, after all, is the first step toward fixing them and improving the story, or recognizing that the cost/benefit ratio is such that the idea isn't worth the time.

If you have an idea, write it out!

In synopsis form at first, as a stream-of-consciousness, then break it down into a loosely structured set of notes or dive write in and start penning the first chapter in draft form. In the process you'll feel the excitement and power of the parts that have real value, and also the tinge of inadequacy of the parts that are too weak, too thin. With enough experience, you'll realize what you need in order to bolster the weaker aspects or, worst comes to worst, that the idea lacks so much that there's no story to be made of it in this form.

I love talking about ideas as much as the next guy and very often I'm a Not Writer, overindulging in the idea phase, postponing the outlining and actual writing as long as possible and justifying it to myself by saying that I'm letting the idea percolate and mature in my mind. Often that's true, often it's not, and often it takes me far too long to realize the difference.

When someone tells me their idea for a story, that's wonderful. It's lots of fun to explore a new concept, but unless I know they've a reputation for productivity, I tend to take statements like "This story can easily span three novels, when I write it all out," with a grain of salt.

It's a painful thing to see that a great idea looks like shit once it hits the page, but an idea in your head is no use to anybody else, and while that may satisfy a Not Writer, a Writer has to produce a real story every now and again.

- Alex F. Vance

No Time to Write

"I have this cool idea for a story, but I won't have time to write it until after finals."

This is a perfectly legitimate thing to say if finals are next week, but not if they're in five months. Stress, health problems, uncertainty at work or at home, children -- all of these are legitimate distractions that require careful, prolonged attention and consequently prevent long, solid, intense investments in writing, that's absolutely true.

But there's more to writing than just those intense, satisfying, all-else-by-the-wayside engagements that make us feel like consummate creative titans.

A working adult has very few opportunities to spend four hours at a time doing anything without distractions. There's chores and shopping, there's a day job or study, there's social activities and an endless, structural cycle of little distractions. And there's a predictable incidence of conjunctural distractions as well. Illness, accidents to one's person or property, unexpected changes in employment or home situation -- and anything that can happen to you can happen to your friends or relatives, which may also impact the stability of your daily life substantially.<!--more-->

The Not Writer doesn't feel that he or she can perform under those conditions, and believes it best to wait till they're resolved. In fact, though they'd never articulate this even to themselves, it's almost as if Not Writers feel that writing a little bit under those conditions will actually inhibit their ability to do the inspired binge-writing they see as an ideal.

Like writer's block, many of these excuses are indeed legitimate. Again, serious, unexpected life changes or tragedy near to the heart have tremendous effect on our emotional state and our ability to function, and we're all responsible for making our own priorities.

But rare is the circumstance that prohibits us from feeding ourselves, or bathing, or dressing. We take walks, drive, read, watch TV, play games, hang out with friends -- often in short intervals, true, but those are things we rarely neglect no matter what else is going on in our lives.

To the Writer, writing is like bathing or cooking. The Writer doesn't often put it off entirely; when times are hard and stress is high, the Writer writes a little less per day or week, but rarely nothing.

The surest way to realize whether you're being a Not Writer is hearing yourself say "I don't have time to write." If you have time to say that, you have time to write.

Doesn't have to be a masterpiece, doesn't have to be part of the Epic Ten-Novel Saga you're 'working on'. A quick domestic scene, a little joke, a tragic monologue... there's always something in your mind that you can write and there's always a moment to do it in.

Institutionalize the habit of writing, ingrain it in your daily activities as you do eating, bathing, and masturbating. As little as a hundred words a day nets you a novella in a year -- and when the stars align and the spirit moves you, you can still binge-write a couple grand of brilliant prose.

- Alex F. Vance

Writer's Block

Imagine the scene. Hip youngsters, well-read and literate all, lounging in a diner or cafe and discussing, over steamingly exquisite coffee, the pain of their writer's block. How their prose is stunted, their characters mute, the well of their inspiration dry and dusty. Sophisticated music plays in the background, providing a mellow undertone to their sophisticated, tragic discourse. Thelonius Monk, maybe, or Annie Lennox. M. C. Hammer, perhaps.

"Finally I have the time to write, and now my muse has left me!" they wail, and take another sip of espresso. Adjust their turtleneck. Sweep back their shoulder-length hair, and clean their trendy ebonny-rimmed glasses. "I hope this writer's block passes soon."

Mockery, to be sure, but let me be clear: writer's block is no myth, any more than impotence or claustrophobia. It can be the consequence of psychological stress and cause further stress on its own, it can have serious repercussions for one's personal pride and self-image, a vicious spiral of disappointment and despair.

Thankfully, in reality, it's surprisingly rare. The vast majority of cases of writer's block can actually be classified as a heady melange of laziness and trepidation, or perhaps intimidation. And that's a really happy fact, because there's an easy solution to it.

You ready?

 

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SHUT UP AND WRITE.

Yeah, you probaly saw that coming. But before you complain that that's no help at all and doesn't get to the root of the problem, keep in mind that, unlike impotence or claustrophobia, only very, very few people actually suffer from real, honest writer's block. Most people who self-diagnose it actually suffer from mundane afflictions related to fear and lethargy -- and more importantly, those who do sincerely suffer from the condition may actually benefit from assuming that they don't.

As I said in part 1, I know how it is - how humiliating and discouraging it is to feel that the story just isn't gelling, that your ideas aren't beign properly expressed, that your characters don't come out as vibrantly as you imagine them and that you just can't for the life of you figure out how to resolve the plot corners you've painted your characters into.

That's not writer's block. It's justthe wind and the rain.

Sure, it's nicer to go out and do your shopping when the sun's shining, but that's no reason to cloister yourself away indoors just because the sky is grey and the road's a little wet. It's not unsafe to drive, you won't freeze or dissolve, and you're out of Mountain Dew and toilet paper so slip into your wellies, strap on a southwester and go to the shops, there's a good lad.

If the prose isn't flowing like it should, then that's just too bad. Can't be sunny all the time, and there isn't a magic spell you can cast to fix it. You won't get through that by Not Writing, that's for sure.

You have a story on the brain that's been percolating there for a dog's age, you can taste its heady aroma, your mouth waters at its delights, but when you try to put the words down they're dull and plain and lack the lustre and sparkle you see in your mind's eye. It's that succulent meal that you want to deliver, not the drab gruel you see yourself writing, and it's very tempting to consider it (or yourself) a failure and head to the nearest café to drown your sorrows in caffeine-rich, hot black nectar.

Tough bones. Suck it up, and power on.

You'll get your mojo back eventually, and you'll get it back a damn sight faster if you write your way through the downturn. You can always go back and fix (or outright replace) the less-than-stellar portions you wrote. When you've completed the story you have to go back and do an edit pass anyway!

You don't even have to continue the story you find yourself blocked on. Everybody needs a break sometimes, and for a Writer there is no better way to take a break from writing one story than to write another one. Pick something simpler, something spontaneous and small and fun, perhaps far outside your usual sphere of interest.

Don't write for your audience or your own ambition. Odds are that's what got you tangled up in the first place, so give yourself some breathing room and just write a neat little story that satisfies all your secret little desires. Go ahead, you don't have to tell anyone.

Like the weather, Writer's Block will pass in its own time, sooner or later. You might as well get some Writing done while you're waiting, no?

Coming up in part 3: time management.

The Not Writer

I'm a writer, and I'm fairly proud of that. I take the craft seriously (most of the time), I've worked to hone my skills, I've studied. Much to learn, still, but that only makes it more fun. Many of my friends are writers too, and I know many writers who aren't friends but still awesome, and I take great delight in seeing people practicing the craft of storytelling with ever greater passion and sophistication.

When I'm asked for writing advice, however, I stop being an enthusiast and become a brutal drill sergeant. From my nostrils spews a venemous vapour called 'pessimism' and my eyes shoot lasers called 'terror'.

"Writing," I always say, "is a sordid beast that feeds on your pride and vomits only exhaustion and self-loathing. Writing," I always add, "leads to anger. Anger leads to hate, and hate..."

Well, you get the idea. I don't talk about 'finding one's voice' or 'research' or 'style'. These are important topics for writers, to say the least, but they're far more personal topics; many writers can solve them on their own and any individual piece of advice offers no guarantee of actually fitting a particular writer's sensibilities. There are of course some stand-bys that never miss their mark: "Read Strunk & White once every six months," or "Let your manuscript 'cool down' for at least three weeks after you finish it, before returning to edit," that sort of thing.

But that's advice for writers, and most people who ask me for advice are not writers. Read that sentence correctly, now: I don't mean that they aren't writers, I mean to say that they're Not Writers.<!--more-->

This isn't a disparagement, now. I don't by any means look down on Not Writers or dismiss them out of hand. Not Writers can sometimes write very well, paradoxically, and often study hard, being very eager to learn.

The difference between a Not Writer and a Writer is the difference between someone who could write and someone who does. A Not Writer is someone who experiences blocks and obstacles and timing issues and lets them prevent him or her from actually writing. A Not Writer may certainly be creative, insightful and capable of writing lyrical prose, but most of the time they're too busy Not Writing to get any Writing done. That's such a shame, such a waste, and that's the reason I so often deploy Tough Love upon those who ask for advice.

"My studies are really intense this semester, I can't focus on anything else right now," says the Not Writer. "I just can't seem to find any inspiration," he says, or "It just isn't gelling for me, I don't understand it."

The Not Writer enjoys conversing with other writers (many of whom, themselves, are Not Writers), seeks insights and techniques and delights in sharing stories of the writing experience and often clearly has an affinity for the craft, but at the end of the day he's spending all his scant free time Not Writing, and Drill Sergeant Alex Fucking Vance holds no truck with that bullshit.

Not to say I haven't been guilty of it myself, or even that I've outgrown it, though I'm twice as hard on myself as I am on others. I've often caught myself Not Writing and, some self-flagellation later, set myself straight. There are times when the words just flow, when the emotions and plot twists and characters spark from my fingers to the keyboard, and when that doesn't happen it feels unsatisfying and frustrating and humiliating. But a Writer mustn't put up with that nonsense.

In what will hopefully be a short series of posts, I'll try to highlight the most common reasons that keep creative, insightful people mired in Not Writerhood, and share my perspectives and solutions, all for the betterment of mankind.

Stay tuned.

- Alex F. Vance

HC2 Day - Spot the artists and take photos, people

Today's the day, vainglorious bastards.

Hundreds of copies of Heathen City Vol. 2 "Paved With Bad Intentions" are on their way to Pittsburgh for release at Anthrocon via treacherous and circuitous routes. The brave boys of FurPlanet charge through the wilderness of the Mexican/Canadian Neutral Zone toward the Pit of Burghs or whatever. Since the Powers That Be insist on once again holding this convention thousands of miles away from my slippers, I can't attend.

Hark, ye: the silver-bell tinkling sound of a writer's breaking heart!

You can help, though. That is, if you're going to Anthrocon and are a proud Heathen Citizen.

First of all, battle your way through the unwashed throngs to claim your copy. Then seek medical attention. Once your injuries are healed and your strength restored, do please share whatever observations or photographs you may have recorded - those of us who can't attend are simply DYING to hear from y'all. Obviously you can reply to this here mail, or you can tag a Tweet with #heathencity, or you can blog about it and you can be damn sure my army of Heathen City Cyber Samurai will track it down and bring it to my attention.

Did you get the HC logo tattooed on your right butt-cheek in a bid to get an even bigger discount from FurPlanet? Were you successful? Did you get Fel to sign your old, stained and sticky copy of HC #1? Do you have a phtograph of yourself looking wistfully past the enormous lines, sighing as you regard Krahnos' handsome visage from afar, or thrill to the sound of Vahnfox's voice?

Inquiring minds want to know.

Nay.

DEMAND.

Be off with you, now!

- Alex F. Vance